Actually, the bad, old days, when the looming Annual Dinner of the Past Pupils Union was viewed by Mr. Kelleher and the other respectable burghers of Ballsbridge like a Viking warship somehow navigating up the Dodder, are far behind us. Now, under the steady guidance of PPU President Peter O’Neill and the omnipotent and omnipresent PPU High Priest Ronan O’Kelly, they are rather proper, staid… even ‘quaint’ affairs:   Keynote speakers get to finish their speeches.  Female alumnae actually stay past dessert.  We only employ one bouncer (but don’t dare mess with Groundskeeper Willie!). And the nuns next door have long since stopped reciting the living rosary for the duration of the festivities.  Whatever happens, one thing is for sure: when the smoke clears and the bodies have been taxied home and Mr. Kilcommons has added considerably to Mr. K’s collection of unclaimed bow-ties… The St. Conleth’s Past Pupils Union will remain the biggest, loyalest and wildest in the land!