Our House!

28 May 2024

Somewhere, in the plushly decorated but carbon neutral throne room of The Elders, Mary Robinson is smiling. Why? Because The Elders‘ plans to share dominion over the earth with George Soros are coming to fruition? Well, yes… but also because House Robinson have just been crowned the first ever St. Conleth’s House Champions! Gordon ‘Commissioner’ Weldon’s great, year-long experiment in inter-year competition and camaraderie reached an amazing climax as the Awards Assembly culminated in the presentation of the House Trophy to Ms. Clarke and her ragtag collection of hummus enthusiasts and dream catcher fashioners. House Heaney, powered by Mr. Carvill’s lab-produced ‘Tiger Juice’, took the Shea Keenan Sportsday Cup and second place, overall. And House Kelleher, with a late push by Grandmaster Yubo Wang, placed third; moreover, the HKs showed the true spirit of the House System as their own Third Assistant House Master, Mr. Baneham, was cloaked and staffed as ‘The Wizard of Merit’, for handing out the most merits, obviously (too) impartially, for everything from reciting lengthy passages from À La Recherche Du Temps Perdu through erasing the board through eating one French Fry. To be honest, it was an exciting and enjoyable end to a year that saw the start of a great, new Conlethian tradition. The House System is obviously here to stay… we just hope that Ms. Clarke does not leave us for some highly paid UN job!