20 April 2024

The PPU Are Coming!

2 March 2016

Actually, the bad, old days when the looming Annual Dinner of the Past Pupils Union was viewed by Mr. Kelleher and the other respectable residents of Ballsbridge like a Viking warship somehow navigating up the Dodder are far behind us. Now, under the steady guidance of President Donal Milmo-Penny and the omnipotent and omnipresent PPU High Priest Ronan O’Kelly, they are rather proper, staid… even ‘quaint’ affairs:   Keynote speakers get to finish their speeches.  Female alumnae actually stay past dessert.  We only employ one bouncer (but don’t dare mess with Groundskeeper Willie!). And the nuns next door have stopped reciting the living rosary for the duration of the festivities. Sure, we got a close-up view of the respectable face of St. Conleth’s Alumni at the recent Cup Final:

Look like lawyers, vets and solid burghers, don’t they?  Eminently responsible and trustworthy.  Then again, we also saw (and heard) this lot up in the cheap seats of Donnybrook Stadium:

We might just switch on the security doors after all.  Whatever happens, one thing is for sure: when the smoke clears and the bodies have been taxied home and Mr. Kelleher has added considerably to his collection of unclaimed bow-ties… The St. Conleth’s Past Pupils Union will remain the biggest, loyalest and wildest in the land!

by Charles Latvis

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